The Yoga Impact - Grayslake Photographer and Journalist

My Yoga passes are up.  I've completed 6 classes today.  It's time to decide if I want to commit to more. 

I know I am improving and getting stronger.  I can't stand on my head yet but I if I continue to challenge myself I will be able to, one day.

I am not afraid to fail. 

Yoga has helped me look within myself and I really like what I see. 

Going beyond the benefits I feel physically and spiritually, my family gets a better me. 

"With every day that passes I feel closer and more connected to you.  I feel like we just met and still have that giddy excitement of new love.  I can't wait to see you, talk to you, hold you, laugh with you..." This is a part of the message my husband wrote in my Valentine's Day card.  He reminded me that it was 11 years to the day that I said, "Yes". 

It is no coincidence that while I am getting stronger our relationship has reached another level. 

 

 

I heard the birds chirping for the first time this year, yesterday.  I saw the first buds that soon will be leaves.  Slowly the snow is starting to melt.  Change is in the air.  With excitement I welcome the change. 

    

Intention - Grayslake Photographer and Journalist

"Let's start by thinking of an intention," Anne began the class today. 

What does she mean by an intention?

"Sometimes it helps to dedicate our efforts in the class to someone or something," she continues almost as if responding to my thoughts. 

I always dedicate everything to my family; my husband and kiddos.  That's probably the "right" answer.  But what if I dedicate it to myself?  No, that's being selfish.  Why is that selfish?  Not sure why, it just is.  It is not selfish.  My intention for this class is ME.  

One of my favorite moves in Yoga is the sun salutation.  Starting with my arms down and bringing them all the way up on top of my head while taking a deep breath.  Bringing my hands together, lowering them over my heart and exhaling as they make their destination.  With all this snow the Sun is blinding as the light reflects just about every where.  It's been a tough winter.  With every challenge comes an opportunity. An opportunity to seek the light within.    
  

Heart Pose - Grayslake Photographer and Journalist

I attended classes #3 and #4 of my Yoga journey.  In between those two class the Yoga studio had a special mother & daughter Yoga.  It was a wonderful experience for the girls and I.  Lots of female bonding and girl power.  "I am STRONG.  I am SOFT.  I am POWERFUL."  They really enjoyed it and even said how relaxing it was when my husband asked.  I'm glad they felt relaxed. 

 

Slowly, I am beginning to feel more relaxed then on the first day.  Not totally relaxed.  I still have those moments where my whole body starts shaking uncontrollably during a pose.  But I am starting to feel a lot more comfortable with it.  Today I realized, Anna, the instructor for the Wed class is the owner.  When she brings blocks over to help me out with a pose and I am the only one she does this for; I can't... I won't feel defeated.  Let's face it, I need help.  I need help, why is it so hard to admit that?  But I am determined to get better. 

This is a two person heart pose.  We made it a three person. 
At the mother & daughter class there was another trio, the daughters were well into their teens maybe even twenties.  The mother of that group said, "my daughters still want to hang out with me."  I hope I will be able to say that, I thought.  Now is the time to work on that. 

"You can not breathe in the past.  You can not breathe in the future.  You only have breath in the present.  Notice your breath and breathe deeply."   

The Journey of Friendship - Grayslake Photographer and Journalist

On this journey of life I've realized that friendship is no different, it is a journey.  Sometimes the journey is short and other times the journey lasts a lifetime.  It can be fun filled with laughter and dancing.  It can be spiritual and moving.  Sometimes it is just about the journey itself.  I try to look down the path and avoid dead ends, road blocks or getting lost.  Friendship can take a sudden left turn, if you are not holding on tight you can fall off.  Maybe it was time to fall off and let go.  Other times your friend is the designated driver telling you to buckle up she has your back.  She pulls over so you can have some air and breathe.  On every journey I take my GPS, I hold on to it tightly.  Very rarely do I turn it off.  When I have turned off my GPS it's because I'm confident that this is the journey that I want to be on it doesn't matter where it ends.

Girls weekend 2014

The best thing about a girls weekend is getting to know each other even better.  I got to learn more about the beautiful woman on your left and I have a deeper respect for the person she is.  Despite the fact that she turned the fan on while I was sleeping on the top bunk! ;)

 



Just having FUN!



A good friend always makes sure you are in at least one pic.  Thanks, LA!

 



    

Looking forward to the next journey. 

 

 

 

Headstand - Grayslake Photographer and Journalist

Last week almost every night I had a dream that I lost something or it was taken from me.  First it was my phone, my purse, then my car and even one of my kiddos.  I realized that it was my Ego fighting back after I called it out.  I brought awareness of my Ego not just with Yoga but a few other things during the week.  Awareness of that internal voice brings me a new sense of who I really am. 

My Ego has formed throughout my whole life.  It is a distorted reflection of who the world says I should be, who I present to others and who I have convinced myself I am.  I am oversimplifying the word Ego... I know.  My point is it's not the devil or Satan.  A dear friend brought it to my attention that others would call this voice as such.  No, for many reasons I don't see it this way.  I don't see my world as a struggle between good and evil.  I see it as a struggle to reveal who I really am... of God... love. 

I took my struggle back to the Yoga studio.  Monday the kids were off from school so I went this morning.  A different instructor led the class and even had us facing our mats a whole different direction. 

Inhale...

I didn't go in feeling as intimidated. Well that is until she had us do headstands.

Exhale...    

I was probably one of the youngest students in the class. I looked around watching these older, beautiful women bow against the wall with their forearms pressed on the floor and slowly lift their legs in the air.  They looked pretty amazing. 

Exhale... oh wait I forgot to Inhale first...

The instructor helped me out with something to start.  I put my palms on the ground and walked my feet up on the wall only a few inches higher than where my butt was in relation to the wall (not very far up the wall).  It was tough, my whole body was shaking (this is starting to become a familiar feeling) then I released. 

Don't forget to breathe. 

Anna, the instructor says; "I have one more pose.  This is where you check your Ego at the door."  That can't be good, I think.  I had to check my Ego at the door when I walked in to the place. 

Gasp in...

Her legs start spreading slowly apart, SPLITS!

Wail out...

I set this flower up for simple outdoor shot.  Then I noticed...

 

It had two shadows.  One shadow distorted by a window that was acting like a mirror.

 

One day I will post a picture of my headstand. 

Just don't hold your breath, it may take a while.  ;)

 

The Yoga Effect - Grayslake Photographer and Journalist

This week I tried my first Yoga class.  I've always wanted to take a Yoga class.  It was not what I expected.  Breathing and stretching, how hard could it be? I thought.  Well it was very challenging. 

In boot camp style classes I've taken the instructor is barking out a command, the up beat motivational music is in the background,  the stomping of feet/quick movements.  Although these classes are brutal I never hesitated to go back.  Even when I had an instructor taunt me that it was too tough- "I wasn't coming back", he said.  Made me want to go back even more. 

In comparison, the Yoga instructor didn't speak above a whisper.  The music was very low and soothing in the background.  There were long periods of stillness and silence as she asked us to move with intention and purpose.  I found the voice in my head saying; "You can't do that stretch.  Your body can't do that.  You can't hold this pose any longer.  When is this class going to end, you can't finish it."  At the same time my muscles started shaking as my mind started to convince my body.  I barely finished the class.

The woman behind me must of have sensed the defeat I felt inside.  She asked me, "What did you think?"  I told her, "It was a lot tougher than I thought." She replied, "You did very well.  I thought you held your own."  I smiled at her and thanked her for her encouraging words. 

In the car I found myself saying, "You don't want to go back, do you?"

It's harder to overcome the negative voices within rather than those that come from outside.  Being aware of them is half the battle.  Being conscience that my Ego is afraid to fail makes me stronger. 

Ego, be ready for another battle next Monday. 

Happy New Year! - Grayslake

I've missed a few weeks of blogging but I have enjoyed quality family time during the Holidays.  2013 was such a turning point for me.  I can identify events, people and changes within that made it a pivotal year in my life. 

Took me a while to realize that I don't need to - "find myself".  I was never lost.  I don't need to search for God, she has never left me.  In my journey I did find something else...  silence.  A silence and stillness that makes the world so clear and full.  I will continue to be still and silent. 

With excitement, I am ready for 2014.  The 34th year of my life.  I will say YES more often.  YES to the world as things come my way and YES to myself.  I am going to try new things and embrace them.  YES!

  My destiny is JOY!